A Miraculous Testimony

In my early twenties, at a time when I was an atheist, my mother asked her Bible study group to pray for me. They prayed for nine months, unbeknownst to me, and that was when God began to reach out to me and woo me to Himself. One day, as I was driving through a quiet neighborhood in Virginia Beach, I began to wonder what my purpose was in life. Then, a thought came to me that I knew was not my own. It was this: “Why don't you just do the uncool thing, and become a Christian?”

“A Christian!” I thought. “That's not even uncool. It's irrelevant.” Then, a catalogue of memories unfolded in my mind that had culminated in the erroneous understanding of Christianity that I held at that time. I remembered calling my sister one day to ask, “Why does mom go to church?” And she answered, “Because she's too old to go to parties. So she bakes cupcakes and knits blankets with the ladies there, so she won't be lonely.” Reflecting on that thought, I asked myself, “What could baking cupcakes and knitting blankets have to do with a life purpose? I don't want to do that. I want something powerful. I don't even know anyone my age who's a Christian.” So I dismissed the thought.

Several months later, God gave me some inspired dreams. In the first dream, I saw a figure who was about 7 feet tall, wearing a white robe and either a blue or gold sash around his waist. I couldn't see the individual's face, but he spoke to me, saying, “Don't smoke cigarettes. It's not good for you.”

I was a good girl, but I had long been rebellious in my mind, so this experience brought about my first recognition of authority. It reminds me of the verse that says, “The people were astonished at [Jesus'] teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes” (Mark 1:22). It also reminds me of Saul who later became known as Paul the Apostle, when he was on the road to Damascus. After Jesus spoke to him, he asked Jesus, “Who are you, Lord?” (Acts 9:5). I didn't yet know who was speaking to me, but I saluted him inwardly and never had another cigarette.

In the second dream, I was in a dimly lit room full of college students in a glum party atmosphere. We were seated in rows of chairs and none of us were talking to each other. We were all just looking down at the floor. Then, I looked up and saw a bright shaft of light shining down on an antique-looking wooden table, so I got up to go and see what was on top of that table that justified such a bright light. What was there was a Bible, and I began to read it.

In the sovereign way that we know things in dreams, I knew I'd be reading this Book for the rest of my life. Then, feeling a chill on my back, I realized that I was alone. Turning to look at the other students, no one else had gotten up or even seemed to realize I had left. They were all still looking down at the ground.

When I woke up, I was perplexed, as a friend in high school had told me that in her psychology class, she was instructed that we dream about things we think about or talk about during the day, yet I never thought about the Bible as I considered it an obsolete Book. So I called my friend M. in New York. Knowing that she was a Catholic, I thought she might have some insight to share. When I told her about my dream, she said to me, “You were reading the Good Book.” We both laughed, and I shrugged it off.

Sometime after that, I woke up with an unusual, foreboding feeling about our country, even though I paid little attention to the news at that time. Bewildered, I went to the beach for some time to reflect. Gazing between two hotels on Atlantic Avenue, I could see the clouds standing above the ocean. They reminded me of a scene in “Monty Python and The Holy Grail,” where the clouds opened and God was depicted in the sky wearing a gold crown and a scowl on his face. He said, “Arthur! Arthur! Get the holy grail, Arthur!” Then, the clouds slammed shut like a vault. I thought, “If God is real, he's so far away. I could never talk to him, and he could never hear me speak.”

Those thoughts left me with a unique sense of loneliness that made me want to end my life. So I came up with a plan, and at about 3 o'clock in the morning, I got ready to carry it out. Just then, I discerned that a veil parted, and there was God. I could tell that He had always been, even though I was just now sensing him for the first time, much like Jacob, when he laid his head on a rock and saw angels ascending and descending on a ladder, and he said, “Surely the Lord is in this place and I was not aware of it" (See Genesis 28:16). I could also tell that God is a person with a mind, will and emotions, just like we have, and before he spoke to me, I heard him sigh (See Genesis 1:27). I could feel that God was very grieved about me, and that the reason He was grieved was because He loved me (See John 3:16).

Then, he said, “You can do this, but you'll go to hell.” That really scared me as I'd abandoned my belief in hell back in junior high, walking the track in P.E. class with my best friend. She said, “Hell's not real. Our parents just told us that so we'll do what they say.” Realizing that hell is indeed real, I decided to forego my plans and went home (See Matthew 10:28).

I stayed awake the rest of the night and at about 9 o'clock the next morning, my mother came over, saying that she was in the grocery store and heard about something important on the news. Turning on the television, we watched as the Twin Towers were struck and collapsed. Stupefied and not knowing what to make of this series of events, I became even more receptive to God.

A few weeks later, after going to bed one night, I felt a gnawing lack of peace that I now know was the conviction of the Holy Spirit (See John 16:8). Feeling an urge to get out of bed and down on my knees, I said, “Jesus, please make your home in my heart and change my life.” A few moments later, after battling some internal resistance, I also confessed, “Jesus is Lord” (See Psalm 24:8-9).

Immediately afterward, I became aware of the presence of angels. I discerned that they had always been there, even though I was just now able to sense them. They were rejoicing, and I could tell that they had been fighting for me for a long time. A few weeks later, after my dad bought me a Bible at Family Christian Bookstore, I happened to read “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). I also read, “There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repents” (Luke 15:10).

Reading those passages really solidified my faith as I had all these experiences before reading about them in the Bible, yet they paired perfectly with the Scriptures. And no one had ever told me that Jesus was Lord! My only understanding of the word “lord” went back to the lords and ladies of the Renaissance!

So, I was glad to know that I was going to heaven. I hadn't yet become aware that there was anything else to do. But about three weeks later, I woke up at around 10:30 in the morning, which surprised me. Back then, I didn't used to wake up before noon on Sundays. So, I thought, “I'm up. Guess I'll go to church.” I drove to a church I'd heard about in high school that didn't sound stodgy and where I was told they did skits each week.

Walking into the sanctuary, the first thing I noticed was that everyone in the audience was smiling. I had problems with depression back then and was accustomed to being around others who were also unhappy. So, it was surprising to see so much joy and contentment all around the room. This was a totally new culture. I also discerned that the congregation had something on them, and now I know it was the Holy Spirit (See John 14:16-17).

I walked in just as worship was ending and the pastor went up onto the stage. Then, as offering plates began to be passed around, he said, “If this is your first day here, you don't need to give anything. Just let this service be our gift to you.” I was glad he said that because I wasn't ready to give yet. I took a seat, and more than 24 years later, I can still remember what his first two messages were about. There at that church was where my faith began to meet my life.

A few weeks after I got saved, I went to a new members' dinner. There, the pastor introduced me to A., who was here from Ukraine, studying at Regent to get her M.B.A. She listened more than she spoke and showed a very great interest in what I had to say. We were about the same age, and A. was an iconoclast for me, who caused my mental images of a Christian to be transformed from imagining someone living an ascetic and marginalized life to witnessing someone who was living life to the fullest while bringing her faith to bear on all of it. At the end of the night, A. approached me and said, “I feel led to disciple to you. Could I come over to your house once a week for an hour?” I said, “Yes.”

For at least a year, A. came over every week and mostly listened to me. She was very filled with the Holy Spirit, and one week, in the kitchen, her eyes were so full of glory that they looked fully God-like, as if I was gazing at two flames of fire. And one day, as I was sharing about something that was stressful to me, A. interjected, “What do you think the Bible says about that?” I was amazed to hear her speak those words because I hadn't yet understood that I was supposed to read the Bible. I still saw it as an antiquated Book, but A. made me realize that the Bible had an answer for every question in my life, and it occurred to me that Jesus would lead me to it.

Another time, I was sharing about a situation that bothered me, and A. asked, “Have you prayed about that?” At the time, her idea was revolutionary to me, as I hadn't realized that I was supposed to pray, but after A. asked, I began to pray about everything. I've walked with God ever since, and I know Him to be faithful. I hope this miraculous testimony has encouraged you today.